


Save the Best for Dessert

by Ywain Penbrydd (penbrydd)



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV), Shadow Unit, The Lone Gunmen (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Food Kink, M/M, Oral Sex, Reid wants a shower so badly, Serious Relationship Conversations, Threesome - M/M/M, this degenerates into a giant fuckpile in the middle of Chaz's dining room table
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-23 20:41:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16626071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penbrydd/pseuds/Ywain%20Penbrydd
Summary: Even after all these years, Chaz occasionally overestimates himself, and he's been using the mirror a lot more than usual. Reid and Langly notice he's not doing so well, and they show up with dinner and a little something extra for dessert.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [ambiguously_anomalous](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/ambiguously_anomalous) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Make no mistake, this is exactly what it looks like: Chaz, food, and sexy times. Chaz does a lot of heavy lifting -- I would love to see someone look after _him_. 
> 
> And/or, if you like a bit of angst in your prompts, feel free to add a bit of hurt/comfort:  
> Chaz has spent a lot of time recently holding himself in very tight control -- using the mirror not just on suspects and enemies but among friends, allies, and even (rather enjoyably) in the bedroom. And it's not that he can't do it, it's just... it would be nice if the gnawing hunger would abate, even if just for a little while.

It all started with half a jar of almond butter. It was his day off, and for once, Chaz was in no mood to cook. ' _Once_ '. It happened, from time to time, and usually the answer was to grab whatever looked like food and stuff it in his face until his brain turned back on, and he could consider putting multiple ingredients in the same bowl. He'd gotten as far as mixing a jar of Nutella into the other half of the almond butter, and he was sprawled across the couch, laptop propped on one bent knee, eating it with a spoon, when the knock at the door sounded. And he had no intention of answering the door. Fuck the door. Fuck whoever was on the other side of the door. He was going to read his friends page and eat this slop, which was actually not half bad, as witless combinations of stuff from the cupboards went. Much better than that time he'd convinced himself that Froot Loops and mint-apple jam would be a good idea. He'd eaten it anyway, and it had kickstarted his brain far enough that he could make more reasonable food.  
  
But, he'd been pushing himself much too hard, lately, even if he did love every second he spent merged with Spencer, turning Langly into cream pastry between them, the way he got to twist the knife against the thing in his head with every moment of raw passion that belonged to both of them. He'd become the antithesis of what the Anomaly wanted, and even the nightmares had failed to bring him in line. For now, _he_ was stronger, and maybe one day he wouldn't be, but right now he was almost content. Right now, there were two men who wanted his cock, and one of them wanted so much more and gave as good as he got. A thrill ran through him at the memory of Spencer thinking with him, dreaming with him, and he purred quietly around the spoon in his mouth, just wishing he could stop being so hungry, wishing that having what he wanted wasn't quite so devastating to his health and his budget.  
  
"Miss me?"  
  
Chaz's eyes snapped open. He hadn't even realised he'd closed them, but he hadn't needed to see to keep spooning chocolatey slop into his mouth, and the visions on the back of his eyelids had been so much more appealing than anything on the screen. He pulled the spoon out of his mouth and stuck it back in the jar. "Langly?"  
  
And that's when it hit him. Hafidha must have gotten the door, while he was spaced out.  
  
"Both of us!" came Reid's voice from the other side of the room.  
  
"Please don't take this the wrong way, but absolutely not. Not today. I have to eat and sleep, or I'm going to die." Chaz blinked up at Langly, dread and irritation clear in his eyes.  
  
"That's why we're here."  
  
Chaz buckled as the pan of marshmallow fudge brownies dropped onto his chest, the smell of sugar and chocolate nearly overpowering, and he looked up at where Langly still leaned over him.  
  
Reid relieved Langly of two more bags, carrying them toward the massive table in the dining room. "We brought food. He's been cooking all night. His kitchen, not mine."  
  
Hafidha appeared at the side of the couch, slipping her hand under the foil to swipe a pair of brownies. "I'm going out with Nikki, Penny, and Fitz. Try not to burn the house down."  
  
"I'd be a little more concerned about syrup and the carpet," Reid admitted, gazing speculatively at the floor, before he glanced up at Hafidha, with a shrug, "but we'll try not to."  
  
"You're leaving me _alone_ with them?" Chaz whined pathetically, even as he helped himself to a brownie. It wasn't actually that he minded, he just wondered how Hafs could walk away from this much food being _brought_ to them.  
  
"Oh, yes." Hafidha nodded, mouth full of brownie. "I am definitely leaving you alone with them. I do not want to become aware of any of the things that are going to go on in this house, because I know exactly what's going to happen. The same thing that always happens."  
  
"It is not. I would die," Chaz protested, shaking a spoon of chocolate sludge onto a brownie, before he tried to fit it into his mouth without dripping any on himself. "Eating and sleeping," he insisted, and Hafidha only knew what the words were because half their conversations involved at least one of them with a full mouth.  
  
"Chazzie, my darling sweet boy, you may think that now, but I know how this works, so I'm going to spend the night at Penny's, while the three of you indulge your depraved fantasies, and when I get home, we're going to talk about insulation." Hafidha nicked another brownie and looked over her shoulder at Reid. "I trust your evil twin will be able to keep everything clean?"  
  
Reid swallowed and glanced nervously at the table stacked with bags of food. "That seems likely. I don't think this is really going to get _that_ messy."  
  
"You're going to be out with Fitz? Ask him about how well the stuff we got works. He'd know. We share a wall." Langly grinned, entirely unrepentant.  
  
"I still haven't seen your place," Chaz complained as he wadded up the foil and dropped it next to the couch, to get a better look at what was left in the pan. "I keep hearing all this wild shit, but I've seen none of it."  
  
"I could show you his kitchen," Reid volunteered.  
  
"It's not the same. I mean, I trust you, and I trust your eyes, but I know you're not looking for the same things I am, and the resolution gets shitty on the parts you're not paying attention to." Chaz shrugged, catching his laptop before it toppled into the brownies and leaving a chocolate thumbprint on the side of the keyboard.

Hafidha's phone blipped, and she didn't bother to look at it.  
  
"Hey, that's _your_ problem with blindfolds, not me. You can come home with me the day I'm sure you're not going to know where 'home' is." Langly insisted, a dopey smile sliding across his face as Hafidha pulled his hair to bring him down to her height and kissed his cheek.  
  
"That's for the brownies. Now, you take good care of my little brother. Again, don't burn the house down. I have to go, Penny's waiting outside." She snatched another brownie, this one straight out of Chaz's hand, and headed for the door.  
  
"She could kick my ass," Langly observed, "and it would take me an entire thirty seconds to mind."  
  
"Please don't." Chaz gazed up in horror. "There are things I don't want to run into by accident."  
  
Langly looked contemplative and Reid laughed.  
  
"Aren't we enough for you?" Reid teased, unloading containers onto the table, both foods to be eaten off plates and a bit of a surprise that he put back in the bag and set on a chair none of them were likely to occupy, to keep it hidden, for the moment. If Chaz was interested, they'd see how far that went.  
  
'We', Chaz noticed, and wondered if that was something he needed to be concerned about, if he'd spent too much time being part of Reid. And he wondered just as much how badly Reid would crack, the next time something went the kind of wrong things tended to go for the three of them, how long it would take for the Anomaly to take him, too. ... and that was exactly the kind of thought he didn't want to indulge, while he had two attractive men trying to bring him dinner.  
  
He propped his laptop on the back of the couch and put the nearly-empty pan of brownies on the coffee table, before he tried to sit up, listening to Reid and Langly debating what constituted 'enough'.  
  
"Well, it's a sexual _appetite_ , right? And you've seen how much we eat," he joked, grinning over the back of the couch at Reid, as he wiped the chocolate off his laptop and licked his fingers.  
  
"Are you sure _he's_ not your evil twin?" Reid joked, prying the lid off of something he was fairly sure was a casserole that had started with potatoes, before he lost track of it. That was the thing about Chaz and Langly -- they'd start cooking, and Reid would just stop being able to predict which dish ingredients were actually part of, after a certain point, because neither of them seemed to be capable of cooking one thing at a time.  
  
"Nope, definitely you." Chaz poured himself over the back of the couch -- something he'd picked up from Reid -- and landed on his feet. "I know what your knee feels like from the inside. You know where to touch me if you want me to throw up. He's the other gamma, but you're the other half of my brain." He leaned around Reid, unnecessarily close, to stick his finger in the cheese sauce on something. "Besides, half the Bureau can't tell us apart."  
  
"Because they're idiots. You're three inches taller and I'm white." Reid shook his head and rolled his eyes.  
  
"No, _he's_ white," Chaz corrected, pointing at Langly, who was coming back from the kitchen with plates.  
  
"No, see, I'm white like _people_ are white, sort of a pale beige. _He's_ white like the inverse of Vantablack."  
  
"I am not that light," Langly protested, flatly, like he'd had this argument before. "And I don't glow, either."  
  
"You kind of are," Chaz decided, after a moment's study, tearing a chillidog off the end of a loaf of them that looked like it stepped right out of someone else's family barbecue.  
  
"You do glow, in the right light," Reid pointed out, helping himself to a plate and a scoop of that ... potato whatever it was.  
  
Chaz nodded, holding up a finger until he could swallow. "You do. And it's gorgeous. When you decide you're getting a bed, Spencer, you should put it right in front of those windows."  
  
"That would be in the middle of my living room, so that's... not going to happen."  
  
"You already sleep in the living room," Langly pointed out, going for a bowl of what he'd assured Reid was goulash and then for an alarming pastel green pudding with pineapple and marshmallows. "You just do it on the sofa that's... right in front of those windows. You just don't want a bed."  
  
Reid sat on the corner of the table, instead of taking a chair, unwilling to make himself shorter at this point in the conversation. "How am I going to fit a bed in that space? Bookcases on one side. Kitchen on the other. I'm better off with the sofa. Besides, I sleep in the _chair_ , now, and it's been pretty good for my back, so thank you."  
  
"I thought you said you didn't have back problems from sleeping on the sofa," Langly needled, between bites.  
  
"I didn't. Something doesn't have to be wrong to get better." Reid held out his plate and pointed at the pile of potato and stuff on it. "With far fewer ingredients, this could've been a baked potato or fries. Neither of those would be wrong. But, you had more ingredients, so you made... I don't even know what this is--"  
  
"Funeral potatoes," Langly filled in, and Chaz got that look where he was trying to decide whether to be offended.  
  
"Funeral potatoes." Reid blinked at his plate. " _Finally_. Point is, you made something better, but the other choices weren't bad."  
  
"Funeral... potatoes?" Chaz finally took the last plate and scooped potatoes onto it, squinting at the casserole. "Did I miss something?"  
  
"Some kind of Midwestern food," Reid filled in, covering his full mouth as he talked. "It's good!"  
  
"And that's as much as you're having, because I'm pretty sure you don't want to spend the rest of the night in the bathroom. Go for the goulash; there's no dairy in that."  
  
Reid rolled his eyes. "Thanks, mom. Pretty sure I can take care of myself. Spotted the cheese when I opened it."  
  
"And missed the sour cream," Langly drawled, spooning pudding into his mouth.  
  
Reid studied the remnants on his plate. "And missed the sour cream. Yes. Thanks." He glanced up at Chaz. "Want some more of that? I think I'm going to switch to goulash."  
  
"Gimmie." Chaz slipped his plate under the edge of Reid's and scraped the potato casserole onto it.  
  
"Nothing with apples or peanuts, I swear." Langly attempted to hold his hands up defensively, but with a plate in one and a spoon in the other, and then gestured at Reid with the spoon. "He said you were allergic."  
  
Perhaps not the way Chaz would've phrased it, but it did the job. "But, everything's still got cheese and sour cream in it..."  
  
"Not _everything_. We need it, and he can eat around it, with a little warning." Langly shrugged, edging around the other side of the table to reach what he'd explained to Reid wasn't an ambrosia salad, but a _seafoam_ salad, to which Reid had insisted that if it had jello, canned fruit, and some kind of dairy product, it was probably an ambrosia salad.  
  
"This isn't about me and it isn't _for_ me." Reid tried the goulash and decided it was probably edible -- that was the thing with Langly's cooking, it was either fantastic or hideous, and Reid hadn't yet figured out how to determine which was likely, in advance. At least it was far more likely to be fantastic, but the man was currently indulging in an ambrosia salad, so his taste was still questionable, at the best of times. "We haven't been taking care of you. Not like we do for each other. And with the way this relationship has been developing, especially between you and I... This is for you, and it's more of an apology, than anything. I've hurt you, and I know I shouldn't have let things get that far."  
  
Chaz stared at Reid, chewing to cover the fact that he hadn't figured out what to say to that, yet, but he wasn't going to let Reid take responsibility for that. Reid was temptation, yes, but Chaz had made the decision to act on that temptation, to get comfortable giving in to it. He pulled a chair out with his foot and dropped into it, putting himself right in front of Reid. "I think you're a little confused about how this works. You're the non-anomalous one of us. You're the alpha. You really can't _make_ me do anything I don't want to." And the more Chaz considered it, the less sure he was of that, but he was absolutely sure Reid hadn't. He knew what that felt like. "You invited me, and I came. And then I came again." He offered a wry smile.  
  
"I'm pretty sure you could have had a few more, if you wanted them," Reid teased, "but that's not the point."  
  
"I could've had a few more if Langly offered, which we all know he's not going to, and I don't blame him. You're deranged. You like it. Most people don't." Chaz poked Reid in the knee with the wrong end of his spoon. "And the important part, here, is that I like it. I like being with you, like that."  
  
"I'm not sure there's anything to dislike about it. You stay where I want you. Most of what I'm actively considering, when you're in my head is things I want you to know. Most of it. But, I know I've given you things I didn't mean to -- things you really didn't need, and I'm very sorry."  
  
Chaz sighed and raised a plaintive eye at Langly, holding out his plate. "Spencer, I don't think you understand how much control you actually have over yourself. Not me, _you_. I can tell you're used to doing it, and from _way_ before we met. What I'm saying is the little bit of noise I get from you is almost nothing. You wouldn't believe the kinds of things that go through people's heads all fucking day long, that before I got a grip on this, I couldn't stop knowing. It was crippling. Literally crippling. And I didn't have control of it, yet, so I was throwing people back at themselves, before I really understood what was happening. It was not a good time. And most of the time, I won't use it, any more. There's not a lot, outside of work, that's worth ... doing that to myself for."  
  
Reid looked like he might say something, but Chaz kept talking.  
  
"You're like a zen garden, compared to what I see in other people, calm and spotless and completely unnatural. And I know that's just the surface, but you do it well enough that I'm _comfortable_ with you in ways I really can't be with anyone else. You're afraid of thoughts that blink through faster than I can catch them, most of the time. Butterflies. Mosquitoes, at worst. And yeah, I know one day I'm going to step in and get sandblasted, but it's still going to be worth it, because it's not constant." Chaz shrugged, trying to keep the nervousness off his face as he looked up at Reid. "Some people get into arguments about who's supposed to walk the dog. I'm going to get you decompensating all over the inside of my head. It's fine. I know how to step out. You have an inhuman amount of self-control, Spencer, and I like it, but I don't expect it, and if you lose your shit, it's going to bother me less than you think. _Trust me_."  
  
Reid cleared his throat and looked away, reaching behind himself for a lemon hand pie. "That aside, I've been asking this of you and not providing for you properly. I'm... I don't keep much food on hand, because I leave town so much and so quickly, and we've mostly ended up in _my_ apartment..."  
  
"I can feed myself. If I had the common sense that doesn't come with genius, I'd be picking up takeout before I show up at yours. But, it's taken me a while to figure out exactly how much damage I'm really doing. It's been a lot of years since I've been _on_ so much. Like I said, it's something I try very hard not to do, most of the time, and the period I have for comparison is..." Chaz paused and considered how to finish that sentence. "blurry. I remember everything; I've always remembered everything, but some of the drugs I was on for... after Texas... It's not all there. And even if it is, I'd rather not look too hard. So, I have to figure this out all over again. And, this time I _want_ to, for a completely selfish reason, and not just because the alternative is dropping dead to make it stop."  
  
"Well--" Reid started, but Langly cut him off, passing Chaz's plate back, piled with unidentifiable casseroles and desserts, a credit card jammed through the crust of a lemon pie.  
  
"Well, surprise, I know what you make, and now you're figuring it out on my dime, because I can afford it better than you can." Langly went back to the questionable pastel green pudding. "You take care of my boyfriend in ways I can't even begin to comprehend, never mind replicate, so... let me take responsibility for feeding you, so you can keep doing that."  
  
"You know none of this is necessary, right?" Chaz asked, and Reid started to laugh.  
  
"Finish eating, and I'll hand you the conversation you're about to have, because I already had it." Reid took a bite of lemon pie and covered his mouth again. "Repeatedly and at length."  
  
"Not tonight, but I'll take your memory of it, later." Chaz licked the lemon curd off the card -- apparently a corporate card -- and reached past Reid to slip it under a container heaped with pasta salad. Langly had caught on quickly to what it would take to feed two of them, and Chaz had a sense he'd overshot it very intentionally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am HOPING this is only two chapters, and I have no idea how long the second one's going to take me, because what is time...


	2. Chapter 2

"What the hell even is this?" Chaz asked, eyeing the heap of pastel pudding with chunks in it. "I'm pretty sure that's pistachio pudding, but what did you do to it?"  
  
"It's Watergate salad," Langly replied. "And it's completely non-dairy, in case someone else at the table cares."  
  
"I'm not convinced that's food, but thanks." Reid offered a brittle smile. "Besides, I don't eat much, and you definitely don't want me eating too much, right now."  
  
"I'm sure there's more than enough here. It looks like he cooked thinking Hafs was going to stay." Chaz lifted up a spoonful of the pudding and squinted at it.  
  
"We have _other_ concerns. If I get hungry again, I'll eat more later."  
  
"Later, as in after you have dessert." Langly smiled wickedly across the table.  
  
"I'm pretty sure dessert is already on the table." Chaz leaned to the side to get a better look at Langly, around Reid, who looked like he was trying not to smile.  
  
"Part of it definitely is," Langly agreed, "but we brought more."  
  
Chaz leaned a little further, to keep his eyes on Langly, as Langly went after another chillidog. "More? Langly, how much food did you just try to bring into my house? Have you seen my refrigerator, recently?"  
  
"Hafs said you'd be going shopping tomorrow. She sent photos. Whiskey says it'll fit, if I'm not wrong about how much the two of us can eat. He's better at that spatial relations shit than I'll ever be." Langly held his plate under the dripping chilli and cheese, as he took another bite.  
  
"She what."  
  
"She was pretty keen on the idea of free food." Langly grinned unrepentantly. "I knocked to see if you'd get up, but Hafs was expecting us, and I let her know when we parked."  
  
"A conspiracy!" Chaz complained, scraping the plate as he realised that at some point in the conversation he'd managed to eat the pastel green pudding.  
  
"A genuine conspiracy against a federal employee -- we've conspired to put about two days worth of food in your fridge," Langly drawled, resting a knee on the table as he leaned over it far enough to deposit another scoop of funeral potatoes on Chaz's plate. "Oh, the horrors. Someone call Homeland."  
  
"Okay, so, just to make the comparison, this would feed me for a few weeks," Reid pointed out.  
  
"It's because you forget to eat," Langly reminded him. "If you actually ate entire meals even twice a day, this would only be a few days."  
  
Chaz squinted up at him, mouth full of creamy potato casserole. "How are you even alive?"  
  
Reid looked down at himself and shrugged. "Force of habit, I suspect."  
  
"So, what do I have to do, to unlock the secret dessert?" Chaz asked, licking the last of the cheese sauce off his spoon. "Because I'm coming up on the point where I should probably stop trying to put things in my mouth for a little while -- I started eating before you got here, and we've made a pretty substantial dent."  
  
"Help me get everything into the fridge, while your evil twin gets things ready?" Langly suggested, snapping the lid onto the seafoam salad.  
  
Reid rolled his eyes. "I keep telling you he's the evil twin."  
  
"You're both the evil twin," Langly insisted, stacking containers and squinting into the kitchen, trying to decide if Frohike had been right about the fridge. "And twenty years ago, if anybody tried to tell me I'd be cooking dinner for smoking hot twin feds who like it when I'm naked, I'd have laughed myself to death."  
  
"If somebody told me I'd _be_ a smoking hot fed with an evil twin, twenty years ago, I think I'd have joined you." Chaz eyed what was left on the table, as he stood up. "And Whiskey's right. It'll fit." He held out his hands to Langly. "Gimme. Trust me; I know what I'm doing."  
  
"I'm glad somebody does." Reid chuckled, nervously, pushing Chaz's chair aside, so he could stand up from the corner of the table, where he'd spent most of the meal, just watching the pair of gammas eat enough for six, just like they always did.  
  
Langly leaned against the wall, between the kitchen and dining room, blocking Chaz's view back into the room -- or at least trying to -- as Reid cleaned off the table and unfolded what would pass for a tablecloth onto it. "Go have a smoke or something. Give your stomach a chance to settle. We'll be done in a minute or two."  
  
Chaz gave Langly a long look and then nodded. "I'm gonna go take a piss," he declared, leaving the kitchen the other way.  
  
As soon as he heard Chaz's feet on the stairs, Langly turned and gestured for Reid to hurry.  
  
"This is the worst idea. I don't know how I let you talk me into this," Reid muttered under his breath as he stripped down to nothing, Langly folding his clothes for him, so he wouldn't have to slow down. He stretched out along the black satin-draped table, and settled his head into the little pillow-brace that would keep this from being painful, letting Langly fix the cloth under him.  
  
Langly stole a quick kiss. "God, you look good."  
  
"If we're going to do this, you need to be moving a lot faster, not least because if you don't start decorating, I'm going to get dressed again." Reid's hands clenched into fists at his sides, as he tried to settle himself with what was happening, as Langly wiped him off with rubbing alcohol, which was the one concession to his concerns about not showering immediately before they started.  
  
"You're going to be breathtaking and delicious, and if he won't lick it off you, I will," Langly promised, and Reid choked off a surprised gasp as Langly drizzled the burgundy syrup across his chest.  
  
By the time Chaz made it back downstairs, Langly was putting the finishing touches on Reid, who lay stretched in the middle of the table, drizzled in syrup and dressed only in desserts -- chocolate strawberries, marzipan fruits, and curls of red velvet cake with flowers cut from halva. But, the look on Chaz's face was not nearly what Langly had expected -- that schooled patience set Langly's ears back, and he wondered how, exactly, they'd managed to fuck this up.  
  
"What did I say?" Chaz couldn't keep the annoyance out of his voice.  
  
"Don't." Reid caught his eye. "You don't want to be me, right now. It's just dessert."  
  
"And you're naked."  
  
"He counts as part of dessert." Langly still looked like he might bolt at the first sign of trouble, counting exits and realising there weren't nearly enough walls.  
  
"Only if you want." Reid remained nearly unmoving, arms stretched above his head, stripes of syrup and cake along them. "If not, I'll shower."  
  
Chaz stepped up onto a chair to get a better look, taking in the detail, the way every piece was set just so, the way Reid had obviously waxed his entire body, probably just to do this. He caught Reid's look of absolute horror as he pulled out his phone and took a picture.  
  
"For you," Chaz promised, stepping down and circling the table, to see this display from all sides. "You should see yourself. I am so tempted to show you."  
  
"Thank you, but no. I'm ... You can get me very drunk next weekend and show me the photos."  
  
That brought Chaz up short. "Are you all right?"  
  
"I want to be, and right now, that's good enough." Reid managed to keep his breathing steady, trying to ignore the drip of syrup that had run down between his legs and was currently soaking into the tablecloth under his ass.  
  
Chaz's eyes landed on Langly, an ice cold gaze that Langly reflexively stepped back from. "What made you think this was a good idea?"  
  
"I did," Reid volunteered, suddenly, recognising the pieces and how they must have fit together from where Chaz was standing. "We wanted to do something ... memorable, and he's ... ticklish, so you get me, instead. He'd be more comfortable, but a lot less useful."  
  
"I'm also not shaving again," Langly muttered, eyes on Reid, watching Chaz in the edge of his vision.  
  
"Memorable?" Chaz squeezed his eyes shut and his mouth did that thing Reid had learned meant he wasn't saying something. "There are much more comfortable ways to--"  
  
"Hi, I'm just going to call attention to the fact that I'm still laying on your dining room table naked and covered in syrup, and I'm absolutely open to having this conversation, but not right now. Maybe after I'm wearing pants." Reid waited until he had Chaz's attention. "Now, there are two ways I could stop being covered in syrup, and one of them is faster, but the other one is much more enjoyable, but at this point, that decision is up to you, and I only ask that you make it quickly, because the longer I lay here without purpose, the weirder this gets."  
  
"Enjoyable for which one of us?" Chaz asked, plucking a chocolate-covered strawberry off the point of Reid's hip.  
  
"At least the two of us, I hope. Three if you're willing to share." Reid watched Chaz catch flakes of chocolate on his tongue as he nibbled at the strawberry, obviously keeping his mouth occupied until he could trust it.  
  
Tossing the strawberry leaves onto the table, Chaz pushed his hair back with one hand, bent down, and dragged his tongue across Reid's ankle, up along his shin, dodging the swirl of cake and the halva flowers, until he finally flipped one of the flowers into his mouth and stood, considering as he chewed. "I'm sure there's enough to share."  
  
Langly edged closer to the table, eyeing the pooled syrup in Reid's palms, but swiping a marzipan peach off his elbow, instead. "You know he's going to need a bath, after this."  
  
"A bath. In the bathtub that's big enough for me to lie down in, of course. You and Hafidha set me up, didn't you?" Chaz shot Langly a wry look, lowering a syrup-soaked strip of cake into his mouth.  
  
"I'm totally unsure why that's even still in question. Of course we did. Conspiracy to get you laid, and without any of the weird shit, this time. Just ... fucking like normal people." Langly worked his way down the line of cake and halva on one arm.  
  
"I'm pretty sure covering my evil twin in dessert foods takes 'normal people' out of the running," Chaz pointed out, as he leaned down to chase more syrup along Reid's leg, with his tongue. "I'm not ready to call it a good idea, yet, but I might be starting to appreciate that decision."  
  
"Appreciate faster," Reid pleaded, as the thin trails of syrup became wide stripes of spit, rapidly cooling against his skin.  
  
Chaz was pretty sure what Reid meant, but he took it the wrong way anyway. "Can't wait for me to get above the knee, hmm?"  
  
"That too!" Reid's voice squeaked as Chaz's tongue swept a line of syrup off his inner thigh.  
  
He was covered in spit, but he felt at least a little less sticky. Chocolate and marzipan unstuck from his skin, the syrup-soaked cake peeled away, and after each piece vanished into one of the gammas, every trace was licked away. Chaz ate quickly and moved slowly, Reid noticed, taking his time with the syrup, licking and sucking every trace of it off, a little spot at a time. What Langly lacked in precision, he more than made up for in enthusiasm, small sounds of pleasure filling the space between the quick flashes of warm tongue against Reid's skin, and though he missed spots, he went back for them. Still, Reid's hands remained full of syrup.  
  
"God, you taste good like this, but next time I'm using the merlot," Langly purred, leaning in for a quick kiss, before he moved down to Reid's chest.  
  
"You're assuming there's going to _be_ a next time," Reid pointed out, still not quite sure how he felt about all this, even as his penis, tucked between his thighs, tried to convince him this was one of the best things he'd ever agreed to. He was fairly certain that wasn't going to be his final opinion on the subject, regardless of how his pulse quickened at the touch of two tongues on him.  
  
He could feel Chaz moving up past his hips, avoiding the marzipan grapes and paper leaf that offered some dim impression of modesty, the air brushing across spots of his skin seconds before Chaz's tongue. Langly picked a few smaller pieces of marzipan, as he worked his way down Reid's body on the opposite side of the table, leaving the last two chocolate strawberries in place, however ridiculous Reid thought they were. And they were more and more ridiculous, as the surrounding sweets disappeared, but Reid knew Langly was trying not to do anything that might make him squirm, before most of the decorations were devoured.  
  
And then the tongues didn't come, and Reid tipped his head up, ever so slightly, to find Chaz's hand tangled in Langly's hair, their faces pressed together over his chest, sucking the sugar from each other's tongues. A sloppy kiss, a wet kiss, and he could feel Langly's fingers clutching desperately at his hip, those sounds of pleasure now muffled by Chaz's mouth. As they pulled apart, Reid caught a lifted eyebrow and half a wicked smile, between them.  
  
"Whatever deranged pleasures the two of you are considering taking with me, I'd like to remind you my hands are still full of syrup, and that's going to end very badly if someone doesn't do something about it."  
  
Langly and Chaz eyed each other, contemplatively.  
  
"I swear to you, I will grab your hair, and I will have no regrets," Reid warned, absolutely sure, in that moment, that Langly, at least, would not let that pass.  
  
A conversation with no words passed between Chaz and Langly, and Langly moved back up toward the head of the table, as Chaz moved down to Reid's hips, cautiously twisting a single grape off the marzipan bunch. That wasn't going to work, he realised after a moment, and held the confection high, tipping his head back and slowly devouring it as he waited for Langly.  
  
If there was something Reid had never considered, it was what it might be like to have someone erotically kiss his hands. There was no other word for the way Langly's tongue swept across his palms and returned to tease, with dainty licks against spots he'd never given much thought to, but he would absolutely be considering henceforth. He pressed his thighs tighter together and let his eyes drift shut, as he focused on Langly's mouth wrapped around his fingers, lips and tongue drawing away any trace of sugar-thick wine.  
  
Chaz watched Reid's thighs flex, tracing his fingers along the shallow valley between them, until he met the edge of the paper leaf and flicked it aside. _Definitely_ wax, and Chaz found himself even more impressed with Reid's fortitude, as he lowered his mouth to the trail of syrup that had leaked under the leaf, curving across the last visible bit of flesh tucked down between Reid's thighs.  
  
The reaction was instant, Reid's entire body clenching as he arched up from the table, legs still tight together, the last strawberries rolling off his chest. Before he could quite catch his breath, Langly's tongue dragged across his chest, lapping the last of the chocolate from his nipple. Reid managed not to grab Langly's hair, hands clenching in the slick black cloth under him, twisting the satin as he writhed under the relentless lips and tongues against his skin, and _oh, teeth_! He panted as Langly nipped at his skin, while Chaz worshipped the join of his thighs, all sweet hot tongue.  
  
Chaz didn't need the mirror for this -- not that he ever really needed it, but Reid was so much sweeter in his hands, in his mouth, when they were entirely aware of each other. But, even without that perfect touch, mind to mind, he could read what was in front of him, Reid's freshly smooth skin pulled tight under his tongue, and the man making beautiful, incoherent sounds of pleasure at every touch. But, no matter how he teased and tasted, Reid's thighs stayed clamped together. At the next low moan, when Reid's hips rolled, Chaz buried his face against Reid's carefully-arranged crotch and sucked, right where the texture of the skin changed.  
  
As Reid arched and howled, again, Langly reached up without looking, tongue still well occupied with the nipple pressed against it, and pried one of Reid's hands loose from the tablecloth. Slowly, gently kneading Reid's palm with his thumb, he eased that hand down, until he could press it into where Chaz's hair spilled over Reid's hip. Before he could even move his hand away, Langly could feel Reid's fingers twisting into Chaz's hair, pulling in just that way they both knew he liked.  
  
A needy sound slipped from Chaz's mouth, muffled against Reid's flesh, as his knees twinged and desire pounded through him, Reid's hips rocking against his face. After plunging his tongue after Reid's cock, one more time, he raised his face just enough to be heard. "I want you. Oh, fuck, Spencer, I want you right here on this table."  
  
Langly looked completely smug, what little of his face could be seen.  
  
"No, you don't. You want him," Reid panted, tipping his head just enough to lay a kiss against Langly's eyebrow.  
  
"Not like that. Like this. I want to know whose hands those are. I want to know that's my mouth and your cock." Chaz pressed another long, slow kiss to the base of that cock, all he could get his mouth on. "Langly's right. I want to fuck you like normal people fuck. It'll--" He rested his forehead on Reid's pelvic arch to laugh. "It'll be the kinkiest thing we've ever done."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOD OKAY APPARENTLY IT'LL BE THREE CHAPTERS because I'm already 2000 words past this, and I really need to get some of it off my desk, _so here_ , have some very almost porn.


	3. Chapter 3

  
"Is this table going to support us both? I think all three of us might be a little much..." Reid pressed himself against Chaz's cheek, absently.  
  
Chaz straightened up enough for Reid to see his face, Reid's hand still tangled in his hair. "Gamma household. I bought this table to be as close to indestructible as possible. We don't weigh anywhere near what it would take to break this table.  
  
"Promise me," Reid insisted, eyes round and firm.  
  
"I swear to you, this table can handle any and all acrobatic sex the three of us might want to have on it."  
  
Langly snorted and cackled against Reid's chest. "Acrobatic?"  
  
"I have watched the two of you fuck in a chair, and I'm still not entirely sure what kind of bendy pretzel shit went on there, because that shouldn't have worked, so, yes. Acrobatic, and I'm sticking with that."  
  
"Watched? No, you just got that from him, in which case that's not bendy pretzel shit, it's him being too tired to remember which end is up," Langly argued, shaking his head just above Reid's skin.  
  
"Look, can we go back to the part where you're both touching me? Because it's either that or one of you should hand me my pants." Reid started to look nervous, again, the rhythm of his breath settling back into something slow and controlled.  
  
Watching it happen, Chaz started to realise how much of Reid's calm, in moments like these, was actually borrowed from him, and he slapped down the urge to reach out and offer it. He tapped on Reid's thigh, instead, as Langly went right back to licking. "Move your leg?"  
  
And there was that calculating look that said Reid's mind was more on what might come next than on Langly's mouth pressed against his ribs. He studied Chaz's face as if it would show him what was behind those mismatched eyes, and maybe it would. They were dangerously alike, in some ways, and he had a lot more personal insight into the rest than was at all reasonable. They knew each other this well, at least.  
  
Reid swallowed and tugged at Chaz's hair again, his thighs relaxing just enough to hold, but not hide. He had the sense not to let go entirely without someone's hand there. And he almost flexed again, at the intrigued smile that crept across Chaz's face, almost let go of Chaz's hair, but then that tongue met his flesh again, and any thoughts he may have had were lost. Hot breath against his skin, the vulgar temptation of each long lick -- Reid's every breath produced a tiny sound of frustrated desire. He writhed, the tablecloth moving with him, as Chaz's tongue plunged down between his legs, teasing the tip.  
  
Chaz licked until he could suck, teasing Reid's cock out of the grip of those lean thighs until he could get it into his mouth, the raw sob from the other end of the table worth every second of careful work, Reid's hand clenched tight and mindlessly dragging him down by the hair worth even more. He wanted Reid wound tight enough to fuck his mouth -- to put that experience into Reid's vocabulary. They could work through what it meant, later. A low moan as he swallowed, and he got what he wanted, as Reid's hips rolled, settling into a slow, tense undulation.  
  
At the other end of the table, Langly half-knelt on a chair, fingers teasing Reid's nipples, toying with his hair, stroking his cheek, his neck. He watched Chaz work, appreciating the obvious skill and enthusiasm, and for a moment, he considered letting Chaz show him how to do that. Just for a moment. And then he batted the thought away in absolute horror. "I wish you could see this," he whispered against Reid's ear. "You look good, wet and sticky and delicious. And your evil twin definitely thinks you're delicious. I have never seen a man suck a dick like that." What he didn't say was that he'd never seen a man suck a dick. Not in person. Not while he was awake enough to care. "He wants you so bad. I can see it in his hands. He's not just gonna take what he wants, but he _wants_. ... I want you, too. I want you to kiss me. I want you to fuck me. I want to come all over you, inside and out."  
  
Reid was so close he could feel the sparks flickering between his fingertips, one hand low, tangled in Chaz's hair and still pulling and twisting, the other hand above his head, wrapped in the cloth and clenched tight. He tried to hold it down, and the ragged sound of his crumbling will fell from his lips, as Chaz's lips slid off him. He almost managed to sit up to register a protest at this last, headbutting Langly square in the glasses, but his hand was caught in the tablecloth and he dropped flat again.  
  
"Shh..." Chaz ran his hands gently down Reid's thighs. "Breathe. I know you want to punch me in the face, right now, but I have a plan, and it's a very good plan that ends with all of us happy."  
  
Reid looked a little disgruntled, but let go of Chaz's hair while Langly untangled him from the tablecloth. The warm ache low in his hips threatened to turn into something ugly, and Reid closed his eyes, focusing on the hands still on him.  
  
"That's not a good look," Langly pointed out, "and you should talk fast, because if he goes over, we're done."  
  
"Then maybe we shouldn't--" Chaz started, but Reid cut him off.  
  
" _No_." Reid propped himself up on his elbows and tipped his head at Langly, eyes on Chaz. "Talk fast. I can still do this. I still want this."  
  
Chaz grabbed the bottom of his own shirt and ducked out of it, dropping it on the floor. "Fuck me," he said, simply. "You fuck me, I fuck him, we all go home happy."  
  
"You're already home," Langly pointed out.  
  
Reid looked down at himself, sprawled across the table. He'd be at the bottom of this pile. The wide open room would matter so much less with someone over him. He raised a hand and beckoned, conscious of the souring of sensation along some of his nerves. "Quickly."  
  
As Chaz dropped his jeans on the floor and stepped out of them, Langly deposited a strip of condoms on Reid's chest.  
  
"Prepared for any emergency, including that."  
  
"That's ... more than three," Chaz observed, tearing one off the strip and opening it with his teeth, as he climbed onto the table, knees first.  
  
Langly stepped on his own shoelaces to untie them and then kicked his shoes off. "Prepared for any emergency, including doing this again, later."  
  
Kneeling across Reid's hips, Chaz finally noticed the other problem. "Did--"  
  
Langly reached into the bag that had held dessert and tossed him a packet.  
  
"Of course you did." Chaz slicked Reid thoroughly, watching Reid's face the whole time, waiting for something to break, but Reid seemed to recover a bit with a hand on him. Slowly, Chaz eased himself down, not entirely unaware of how deeply and compellingly fucked up it was that the first time they were trying this, it was without the mirror. And there was the temptation, again. He'd gotten about halfway down when Reid's hand shot out and grabbed his forearm.  
  
"Stop." Reid took a few breaths and tried again. "Wait. If you want this to work, just... half a minute."  
  
Chaz took the time to roll another condom onto himself. Even if Reid backed out, he was pretty sure he'd still be nailing Langly against the wall, while Reid showered. That was how things worked around here, he'd noticed. And then Reid let go, and the next word cleared any doubt Chaz might still have had.  
  
"More."  
  
Sinking the rest of the way down, Chaz settled himself with a few deep breaths. Slowly, he reminded himself, slapping down the noise in the back of his head about serious injury and rupturing something. There was always that flash of panic when he didn't take the time to do this the right way, and as much as he'd rather be able to do this without that contaminating the memory, he'd like to be able to do this before Reid flipped out even more.  
  
"I want you," he breathed, looking Reid right in the eyes, watching what he meant sink in beyond what he'd said. "Later. Another night."  
  
"Yes," Reid promised, running a hand up Chaz's thigh.  
  
Langly watched the whole thing, as he unbuttoned his jeans, the way even when they were apart, they might as well have been together -- half-sentences and unfinished thoughts with whole meanings in them. In a way, he envied it, but mostly he was terrified of the idea of having anyone flipping through his head, ransacking his memories, and doubly so after he'd seen what Chaz pulled in that black ops facility.  
  
But, the way they moved together, slow and cautious, that almost supernatural awareness of everything between them and around them, that he definitely envied, if only briefly. He'd be between them, soon, Chaz inside him, Reid's hands all over him -- then he'd be the one to be envied, and that was the thought in his head, as he leaned against the table, Reid's hand between his thighs, fingers buried in him, teasing and tempting.  
  
When Chaz invited him to join them, Langly paused, hands on the bottom of his shirt. "You gonna get grabby?"  
  
"Probably," Chaz admitted. "Leave it on."  
  
"Shit." Langly studied the table. "I should have gotten up first. Sorry if I kick anyone in the face."  
  
There were hands enough to prevent that, and Langly eventually found himself on his elbows and knees, just a little too far up to kiss Reid's lips. Forehead, then, he decided, touching his lips to Reid's face as Chaz pulled him back and pushed in, slow and hard.  
  
"Yes," he breathed, feeling the question in Chaz's gentle hands on his hips. "It's me. You can get a little rough."  
  
And then Chaz's hand was in his hair, dragging him back, and he was so very sure why he left his shirt on, as his back bent against Chaz's chest. Langly shivered, knowing this wouldn't take long at all, especially once Reid's fingers began to tease again, this time slick with the fluid Langly knew he was already dribbling across Reid's skin.  
  
"You good?" Chaz asked, rocking his hips experimentally, between Reid and Langly.  
  
"I swear to god, if you don't shut up and fuck me _right now_ \--" Langly threatened from where his head was tipped back onto Chaz's shoulder, hair still caught in Chaz's merciless grip.  
  
"Spencer? Tell me if we're too heavy for you."  
  
"That's fine, but I'm with Langly. You should definitely be moving." Reid's other hand reached between Langly's legs to trace the line of Chaz's inner thigh, thin and solid. A little further up and he could touch where Chaz's body intersected Langly's, a little further back, and he could almost touch where he was buried inside Chaz, who was so exquisitely tight around him. Painful, at first, but he'd felt the muscle slowly relax, and now Chaz's hips rolled, grinding down against him, as if trying to take more of him than there was.  
  
A broken sound clattered out of Langly's mouth as Chaz moved behind him and inside him, guiding him through Reid's loose, slick fist, and after a few thrusts, he picked up his own rhythm. And just as quickly as it started, the pattern was broken by the electric rush that pinged off the ends of his nerves, a sensation that seemed to start where Reid's fingers touched him.   
  
"Fuck me," he demanded, breathlessly, as he spurted across Reid's chest. "Don't you dare stop."  
  
"What makes you think I'd stop now?" Chaz purred against Langly's ear, the force in his short thrusts increasing. "I'm just getting started."  
  
The view up Langly's body was just short of incredible, from where Reid lay. It was, he reflected, a view he didn't get often enough, with the way they clung to one another, skin on skin, slick with sweat, and he shivered at that thought, hips bucking under Chaz and earning him an intrigued look over Langly's shoulder. There was something missing, like this. It was good; it was so good, but he felt like he was only experiencing half of it, like half his body was missing, and in a way, it was. It just wasn't _his_ body. Another time, they'd find a way to make this work. Once Chaz recovered, they'd do this again... with less syrup, and he'd be able to feel all of it, the closed loop between them sharing every moment of pleasure. Would it be a complete overload, like that? They usually had Langly between them, a buffer to prevent the direct exchange of sensation, and Reid remembered how badly he'd taken his short venture into virtual reality. How different was this, really? Feeling things that didn't belong to him...  
  
But, that wasn't a concern for today, for that moment in particular, when he felt nothing but his own pleasure. Chaz was almost silent, but Reid could feel the way his body tightened, bony knees digging into his sides, as Chaz picked up the pace, clenching around him at the peak of each thrust into Langly. And then Langly toppled forward, no longer held in place by the hand in his hair, and his hands slammed into the table to either side of Reid's head, leaving Reid staring wide-eyed up at him for the split second it took Chaz to adjust to the new angle and the greater distance between giving and getting.  
  
Langly arched his back until he could nearly reach Reid's lips with his own, knees sliding further out on the black satin as he tried to keep his ass where Chaz wanted it, and Reid made up the difference, tipping his head back until Langly could close the kiss. And that kiss turned desperate and breathy almost immediately, Langly noticed, as if this was what Reid had been waiting for -- entirely fair, really. He'd gone from being the target of all the hands and mouths in the room to a single point of contact. And now, Langly could feel the difference in the way Reid moved, straining upward for more contact, and the way Chaz adapted to the change, using Reid's hips as a springboard for harder thrusts.  
  
Chaz held tight to Langly's hips with both hands, pounding into him, even as his own clockwork rhythm faltered, his legs trembling, some muscles catching sooner than others. It had been too long since he'd been filled like Reid filled him now, if he didn't count the memories he'd shared with Reid -- and he didn't. They weren't his. It wasn't _his_ body Langly had emptied himself into. And however much it turned Reid on, Langly was much too quick for Chaz's taste. Much better suited to ride him than to fuck him, and Langly took it so well. Langly took it well, and Reid took _him_ well. Chaz finally let himself focus on the tight slide of Reid's cock inside him, that teasing pull against his insides as he buried himself in Langly, who clenched around him like he knew what he wanted. And Chaz meant to provide it.  
  
Caught between two bodies, Reid's hands kneading his back, Chaz's dick rammed into him so hard his hips ached, Langly felt himself start to tip. One wasn't enough. One was never enough, any more, and that was something Reid and Chaz both understood, pushing him hard, wringing him out, giving him all the pleasure his body could handle until he could do little more than dizzily watch the room spin around his head. And now, Reid was making needy, demanding sounds against his lips, any words lost in the press of lips and tongues between them. He wasn't the only one close to the edge, and without thinking, he clamped down hard, tipping his hips up in that way that always brought Reid over.  
  
Except it wasn't Reid on the other end of that squeeze, not that Chaz took the least exception to it, letting Langly drag him down. And that was an incomparable smug thrill, feeling Langly come apart under him even as he throbbed inside the man. Almost perfect, until he realised Reid hadn't followed him down, until he realised there really were two of them, for a change, and he couldn't assume Reid would come just because he did. But, he followed Langly's lead, lean forward, hips back, and clamp down as if trying to break something -- and there was the sound he'd been waiting for, that muffled moan, almost lost in Langly's mouth.  
  
Reid hadn't thought much of it, when Langly came again, hot and tense above him, the puddle widening across his skin. Two was expected. Maybe they'd go for three, though he wasn't sure he'd hold up that long. And then Chaz clenched around him, and there was no longer a question of whether he'd hold up, the rush echoing off the inside of his skin. He wanted, then -- he wanted so much more. He wanted Chaz just as deep inside him, sharing his mind and his memories. He wanted to know what it felt like to come inside himself, but he tamped that down and let the sensations he had wash over him. There'd be time enough to share it, later. To mix the memories, and then do it all again, to have every touch coming and going. But, it still felt like something was missing, even as he felt so close to whole, with Langly breathing his air.  
  
Langly finally broke the kiss with Reid, burying his face in the crook of Reid's neck, hair probably in Reid's face, to judge by the sudden huff and sputter.  
  
"I am about to become very heavy," Chaz warned, panting against Langly's back.

"You weigh like three pounds," Langly scoffed.  
  
"Gentlemen, I love at least one of you, but you have gotten me off, and it is now time for you to get off me, because I really don't want to be naked on this table when Hafidha gets home, especially if she's bringing Garcia with her." Reid nudged Chaz with his hip, still trying to spit out Langly's hair.  
  
"They'd never treat you like you're twelve, again," Langly muttered, with an amused snort.  
  
"You know, any of my team having seen me naked even once is more than enough for a _lifetime_."  
  
Chaz groaned and started to untangle himself from the other two. "Hafs _is_ probably going to kill us, if we don't make it up the stairs."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *screeeeaming* I HAVE FINISHED THE THING. ~~and now I'm taking some time to do the other things i'm supposed to be doing, WHOOPS~~


End file.
